haven't posted in a long time

spoke to amber star freda last night
it was nice to hear the new york twang in her voice
i am looking for a Kit-Kat Clock for my Kitchen by the way
so amber in new york
she said
"when are you going to have anothuh?"
and
"yeh?"
HA
isn't it romantical?
i remembered once amber and i were talking about my decision to move to texas to be with killy - i don't remember why this was brought up - i think maybe this was when she was thinking about moving to new york to be with this guy - he seemed cool and nice when i met him - but i didn't meet him until after she moved to the big apple - so anyway we are talking about killy - i don't remember what i said - but i remember thinking that somehow i always knew that i was supposed to do this - even way back when killy and i first met - it was something i knew - but as any virgo girl would know - it was my natural reaction to go against my instincts for the excitement of the unknown - so instead i sent killy away - way back when - and continued my self-exploration until he came back - and when he did - it was as if everything that was my existence finally came together - and for the first time i listened to my instincts and made the happiest choice of my life
it was not difficult for me to pick up and move away from my family - as i watch my little boy growing up - i can understanding his need to be free and strong - i can't remember a time that the choices i made weren't made by me alone and no-one else - it is good to explore the limits of who we are - looking at my little boy and hearing his defiant "no mama no" it makes me sad and happy at the same time - i know one day he will be making choices on his own - i just hope i can teach him to be honest with himself about what he needs and what he wants - and i hope he will know to be careful but not afraid

it makes me happy that amber has made happy choices too