Travels

I would definitely, absolutely, and without question go -- but then again, this is coming from a person who went to Europe for 6 weeks with a backpack and only $1,000 to pay for travel, food, and a room and who ended up running out of money and had to work at a hostel for 5 days to get back home ... some people hate the stress of the unexpected, so it's better to know yourself and know your threshold for the unknown ... it will definitely be a culture shock -- being around that many people who don't speak english and who come from a totally different culture will be a major challenge ... but you only live once and I'm sure you will come back from that trip with stories you will be telling to others for the rest of your life ...

Don't do anything you don't want to do

Personally, if I were in your situation, I would go for it. I wouldn't worry so much about the money because as we all know, it appears out of nowhere when it's absolutely necessary. I would love the adventure. But that's me.
Liz's questions are right on the ball. Is there a reason they picked you for China, maybe they see some potential for you over there? Or is it like you indicated, purely luck of the draw?
You have every opportunity to visit China later on in your life. You should go with your instincts and if they tell you that this is not the right time, then don't. Don't feel pressured to do something you aren't comfortable doing. One the one hand, you won't see China right away, on the other, you will get to visit someplace else that you might not otherwise be able to so easily. Plus, it might cost less.

Big decision

I'm always up for an adventure, my first instinct is to GO!! But you sound so apprehensive about it, and it's going to be stressful where ever you go. What are the reasons they chose China? Will there be an English speaking clinic? Is it for public health? Do you want to spend your money on that or do you want to save it for a different adventure?
I say, maybe they know what they're doing, and maybe they think you would learn a lot. Think about it as a learning experience-where and how will you learn the most about being a good PA?
If you don't go, will you wish you had or will you look back and be relieved.
Or just think, they could send you to Delaware!
Sounds like a difficult decision.Are there any others going over-seas?

Au Naturale or Benumbed???

an excerpt of an email from Maru, I've been reading your personophone (?) and wanted you to tell Amber congrat's and I THINK she should go drug free of course.

Amber
First of all, I am heartbroken that I had to do a C-Section with Adolfo Fidel, it was necessary and in the end for the best (if you don't remember, his little foot was wrapped by his umbilical cord making it difficult for him to drop and affecting the blood and oxygen flow to his little body endangering his life). But I was really psyched to do it all natural and was pumped about all the sensation associated. You will hear from many women about how painful it is. But the reality is the only thing that makes it painful is when you don't know what is happening with your body.
Killy and I took Bradley Method classes. This is a husband based coaching natural birth method. This means, the husband is the main coach during your pregnancy and birth. And it is natural. We found this to be a bonding experience and Killy felt like an integral part in the whole process because he learned about everything my body was going through. The most important thing I learned was how to identify the signs of the processes my body was going through. This is important because the signs allowed me to prepare for what was taking place. And I had the choice and the strength to relax through the most difficult times.

I'm referring to the contractions, these seem to be the most painful of the whole birth process because the muscles start freaking out and generally, the mommy doesn't know what to do. The Bradley method teaches you to focus on what is taking place inside of your body and the purpose for its happening. Once you understand how these work together, the experience becomes a more respectful, fundamental one rather than one full of fear and apprehension and therefore, a painful one. Also, your husband, your coach and loving partner, also knows what is happening to you and can provide the important comfort that you need during those moments.
Maru failed to express the beauty of the experience and the chance to feel something that drugs will never let you. The sensation of relief and bliss that is the highest of any climactic love session you've had when you feel your little baby washing into the huge world, awake and alert.
The dangers of taking drugs as mentioned before, is that too many may be given and the child is born groggy and out of it. I personally think this is not fair to the little baby.
I did not choose an epidural. Since I had no choice about the emergency C-Section, I was still able to choose the type of drug I would be given. So I had a spinal-block anesthesia. That was one dose of stuff instead of having a needle stuck into my spine for the duration of the C-Section. Plus, they only numbed me from the waist down. I was wide awake the whole time they tugged and pulled on my muscles and tissue while opening the door for my little boy.
He came out screaming and dripping my blood.
Whatever choice you make, don't let fear of pain be a deciding factor. Pain is nonsense.
I really believe that we are built the way we are to tolerate all sorts of stresses that we must undergo. I guess it's easy for me to say this since I've broken every bone in my body at least once (slight exaggeration). I decided that I didn't want drugs for all the reasons I mentioned and others that this blog doesn't have room for. But the choice is yours and no one will judge you for it. Regardless, the most important thing is that in the end, you will have a beautiful baby to love and nurture for a long, long time.
Interesting Link

Ask Carol!!!

OK, you are right about the protein and calcium. If you don't eat enough calcium, your body will take it from the bones and that's not good. Protein, eat a little more than you usually would at each meal, that way you don't feel totally full and bloated after a meal, and eat small frequent meals. But Carolina would tell you the same thing! Lifting? Really try not to lift too much-a scientific explanation: you know when you have to burp or (pooh) and you "push," That "maneuver" causes negative pressure in your insides-which causes gas and other stuff to come out, but you don't really want to do that right now, because it can affect your womb too, maybe. Anyways, the same effect occurs when you lift heavy things too.

Yoga is great! Try prenatal yoga though, so they know what you should and shouldn't do. I personally, (and Carolina probably would too) would encourage you to TRY going pain free. When you have anaesthesia, you are more tired and groggy afterward and it's more difficult to recover from. Also, your baby may be groggy too and may not want that first, important colostrum. BUT, most people get the epidural and are FINE, and they do great. And it's not bad to do so, but wouldn't it be great to just try and see what your body can really do? Like a marathon, it's not fun, nor easy, but the sense of accomplishment and empowerment is priceless.
These are opinions, but the yoga should help get everything "opened" up and ready for labor. When is the due date? September right? You are going to be great-listen to your doc. and don't hesitate to ask him/her alot of questions-don't worry about taking up his/her time, that's what they are there for, or ask the beautiful, wonderful nurse at your clinic!

Hope this helps! But Carol is of course the expert, you should have seen all her books!

Questions

Hmmm ... I think up new questions every day -- luckily, Anthony's aunt has a phD in Obstetrics & Gyn, so I bug her pretty regularly and she's great about answering ... Off, the top of my head, Liz,

-What sort of nutrition advice do you have? I keep reading little snippets here and there, like don't drink decaff coffee, don't eat too many apricots, stay away from ginseng, avoid too much vitamin A, etc -- but I'm worried that I may not know about every culinary misshap -- is there a definitive list that I should go by? Also, are there certain types of foods that you should eat according to stages of embryonic
development? (i.e. calcium for bones in the 1st trimester, protein, etc)

-I have had some spotting and my doc checked it out but said it's nothing to worry about unless it becomes more severe -- the ER said to avoid heavy lifting -- what exactly do they mean by that? Should I not be doing as much twisting, etc in yoga? Should I not lift anything over 10 lbs? I have a very physical job, so lifting things in the 10-20 lb range is pretty hard to avoid...

What do you think?? Any other insight?

Oh, I'm going with an MD -- do you think it's better to go with drugs or without?
I don't know if I can handle that much pain!!!

natural

I helped a 19 year old birth a baby on Tuesday. She was great. She had an epidural, but nobody tried to tell her that she could do it without. People look at you like you're crazy if you want to go drug free?! We have a theory-men want to take away the mystery of child birth, and control it with C-sections and epidurals, and inductions. It might be whack, but think about it. Something so natural and special, being treated like an everyday operation. And scheduled so that Doc. can have dinner with the fam. Just a theory.
I'm so happy for you Amber. I'm obsessed with pregnancy (I'm studying it this semester in nursing school). So if you have any questions, I can find the answer in one of my text books!
Midwife or MD?

Job Hunt Woes

I walked into the shabby temp agency offices at 32nd and Madison
and met Joe, a fast talking brown haired man with hard eyes. He
said he could definitely get me a job as an admin doing power point
presentations for an investment firm making more money and better
benefits. I said where do I sign and by the way I'm 2 months pregnant.

He quickly changed his tune at the news. Well, I can't help you, then.
Who's going to want to hire you knowing you're going to go on maternity
leave in several months? He sounded almost angry with me.

I left that small little man in his shabby little office and didn't look
back, resting my hand on my belly on the ride home, knowing
that I can endure anything, any rejection, any hardship so long as
I have my baby -- any job seems so measly by comparison ... and so
I find myself not as upset as I thought I would be -- having a baby
inside of me sort of puts the world around me into perspective.

And taking care of plants isn't so bad -- at least here I'm surrounded
by people who have grown to love and care for me over the past 3 years ..
I know they will be happy for me when I tell them about my little
hidden virgo treasure.. and maybe this is the sort of place I belong in
right now, rather than a strange new environment with a boss that
would just resent me in his small-minded way ... for what?? creating
life?? how ridiculous and sad.

YES!!

You can use me as a reference
here is my info
Carolina Chavez
Administrative Assistant
Tax Department
Hines Interests, L.P.
2800 Post Oak Boulevard
Houston, TX 77056-6118
Office: 713 966 5430
Cell: 832 567 7684
Shoe: 9
Suit: 8
Eyes: Black
Sign: Virgo
Saying for the day: Everything that is worth anything in life is free.

yes please
(SIGH)
I wish I were in NYC being an Admin somewheres in the big city

are you and antny going to look for a house for your little bb soon?
or will you stay where you're at for a while?

Read out loud starting now
write a journal every day
avoid coffee
give yourself pedicures while you can still reach your toes
give yourself pleasure (yep)
it soothes and massages the baby
NO BUBBLE BATHS
lots of warm showers
a 4 oz glass of wine is A-OK and won't harm the baby
to produce milk later, drink a dark beer (guiness)

it's magical
it's beautiful
I can't wait to do it all over again!

Carol

You are too cute ...

I can see Meagan being happy at a Montessori school.

As for me, I'm thinking about a change of career -- of course, I'll
still teach my botanic gardens classes, which I adore ... but my
every day job has gotten too physically demanding -- I can't
be schlepping plants and bags of soil and watering cans for
the rest of my life ...

I want something more civilized ... I want to make Power Point
presentations!!! I LOVE Power Point!!! I want to schedule
meetings, use my brain, organize things -- yes, I'm actually
considering life as an admin asst -- lord knows, there's enough
jobs for admins in nyc -- maybe i can find some creative place
where people feel engaged by their careers, respected by their
boss and co-workers, and generally content about life ...

that's what i have in mind, anyway, so I'm sending out the
'ol resume to a few temp agencies -- carol, do you mind if i
put you down as a reference? what's the best number to
reach you at?? Muchas gracias, bella!!

oh, yeah, Killy sent me an e-mail that you might be vacationing
in Deleware this summer... what's the deal-io??

ethical answer

of course
the right thing to do is to tell them that you are pregnant
you can't avoid that

you can also play the blank card
that is
i didn't know i was prego???
what a surprise!

then, if the company thinks you were lying
they could let you go
using any excuse they want
(and in Texas, using no excuse at all)

but if you tell them up front
they'll know what they are dealing with
and they will make a decision with all the facts present
and you will know whether or not this company
is understanding about that natural state of things
or if they have unrealistic expectations
of a young, modern and happening mom-chick

SO

both of you will be happy in the long run

believe it or not
there are companies that will hire you
in the divine state

and those that do not
you can ask yourself
do i really want to work for them???

also
maybe you can look into another direction

if i wasn't so scared of chill'un
treating them like bugs and such
(tadeo???)
then i would have done the same thing meagan is doing

she was hired
in her divine state
at a montessori school

now isn't that a dream!!!???

what am i learning at work?

i am learning
that plain m&ms
eaten right after a york peppermint patty
taste slightly nutty
and are very satisfying


mmmmm

cravings

i ate everything
didn't deny myself a thing
i tipped the scale at 200 on my 8th month
triumphantly gaining over 60 pounds during my pregnancy
i am now happily a size 8 again
only thing left to show for it
are some silky silvery tiger stripes up and down my little belly
and my beautiful angelic baby
the pride of my life

amber
here are some ugly truths
your butt is going to get huge
your hips are going to get wide
your belly is going to get big
and depending on your mom
you may or may not get stretch marks
you will gain lots of weight
your nose is going to get wide (if it's a boy)
and your feet are going to swell
your boobs will become someone else's
literally
and will never be the same again

but don't sweat it
enjoy it
eat everything you want
but just keep in mind
don't eat as if you're eating for two
because unless you really need it
and one hamburger isn't enough
and the only thing that will satisfy you
is a 24 oz steak with potatoes
for the most part
one serving is good enough

anyway
after the baby comes into the world
you have plenty of time to get back to where you were before
and you can look just as hot and sexy then
as you look now
so don't worry about it

and i know you
you won't have a problem putting in all the yummy nutritious things you need
drink lots of milk
baby will take away as much calcium from you as he/she can
eat fruit every day
even if it's only an apple
and stay away from whatever makes you nauseous

speaking of nauseous
i didn't have any symptoms
except when i took my prenatals first thing in the morning
i think it's the iron in it???
i don't know
something made me nauseous about it
so i switched
i started taking them at night
just before bed
and everything was just fine

do you think it could be something like that for you???

Excitement

I love the way Anthony is already putting his head on my belly
and talking to "Junior" or "Junioretta" as he invariably refers
to the baby -- he's going to be such an excellent father!!

I haven't told anyone at work yet but my belly is rapidly expanding
and I probably don't have more than another month before it
starts to become noticeable.

Ethical question: If going for a job interview somewhere, do I tell
the prospective employer that I'm pregnant to establish an upfront,
honest communication -- or do I keep quiet on the grounds that
it's personal, it's illegal to discriminate, and the fear that they might
not hire me because of it, in spite of what the law says??

Carol, tell me about your pregnancy cravings!! Any advice on what
to eat, etc?? I'm afraid of getting too fat -- but I also, of course,
want to be as healthy as possible and not deny the baby or myself
any nourishment ... Favorite foods: pickles (cliche, I know), chocolate
chip cookies, mac and cheese, sweet potatoes, egg mcmuffins, curly
french fries, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches ... ummmm, I'm
getting hungry just thinking about it!!

Ew, I felt nauseous today for the first time when I woke up this
morning :(

OH MY GOD and CONGRATULATIONS

I am so excited for you!
WHAT
I want to scream! This is so beautiful for you! I am so happy for you!
I can't wait for you to tell me EVERYTHING
I am so excited for you!
Amber and Antny's little one!
I can't wait I can't wait
to see all the photos and hear all the baby stories

Antny's work is gonna change! SO DRAMATICALLY
it's so cool

Amber
You will be such a beautiful and perfect MOMMY
I am so happy for you!
Congratulations!

Prego?!

Well, I just got back from my first pre-natal yoga class ... what?????
yes, it's true, ladies --- anthony and I are expecting -- looks like
it might be a virgo, carol -- mid-to late-September is the date
and I'm 7 weeks prego right now with just the slightest bump for
a tummy and finding myself with sudden cravings for chocolate
chip cookies and mint chocolate chip ice cream, but luckily none
of the nausea or tiredness, at least not yet -- we go in for our
first sonogram in a couple of weeks and I find myself worrying,
will it be healthy -- should I wait to tell anyone until I see it's
little heart beating and breathe with a sigh of relief when I see
all 10 fingers and toes .. but it's driving me crazy not to tell
anyone -- and so you girls are the first to know outside of the
immediate family -- pretty crazy, huh?! We're so happy!!